Disecting Geeks and Nerds

What is a nerd exactly? And a geek? Are they one in the same, or are they two VERY different things, like male and female?

SO, being the awesome person I am, I decided to look both of these words up. On the one and only dictionary.com. What I got was surprising. Thought I was looking at the urbandictionary as opposed to the dictionary dictionary. . . .
Nerd: a stupid, irritating, ineffectual, or unattractive person
Uhm ouch? Ok this is quite depressing. You think they would have a more user friendly definition. And I could tell you that a lot of nerds are attractive! But that is only from the viewpoint of a slightly nerdy nerd so my viewpoint may be full of bias. Irritating? Yes, I can't say that isn't true. But still dictionary.com, you have yet to define nerd to me. Are you saying every irritating, ugly, stupid person is a nerd? And how does that even make sense?! How can a nerd be stupid?! Isnt that an oxymoron?! Oy vey.
So they actually have another definition.
Nerd: an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit
Ah see, that is a better definition. Yet it completely attacks the prior definition. So WHO AM I TO BELIEVE?! Except what about the "nonsocial" part? Because I knew nerds who are only "nonsocial" with people who are not nerds, but are very amusing and entertaining with people who listen to them!

Alright, fair enough. Now what about geek?
Geek: a computer expert or enthusiast
Hmm. Ok makes sense. If I am judging people on this first definition though, it would make every computer expert a geek, and every non computer expert a . . . nongeek. But the word enthusiast allows us to make our own opinions. Because an enthusiast is not necessarily a computer expert, they just like computers, so this definition is fairly open to anyone who uses a freakin computer!
Geek: a peculiar or otherwise dislikable person, especially one who is perceived to be overly intellectual
So apparently geeks are disliked. This makes no sense. It seems that a lot of people liked geeks. Tho this fails to give me a logical definition. So basically, if you are perceived as being overly intellectual, then you must be hated by people and are therefore a geek. Considering a stupid person off the street with a 5th grade education would find me, a high school senior, overly intellectual which means Im hated by people and am therefore a geek. I don't want to be a geek if this is the thanks I receive!
Now for the best definition of them all.
Geek: a carnival performer who performs sensationally morbid or disgusting acts, as biting off the head of a live chicken
WHAT?!?!?!?! I have never heard this one before! Does anyone in the world actually know this?! Well of course not, who looks up the definition to the word geek?!!? . . . . other than me. . . Actually, this is the coolest definition of them all. This now gives me the right to slap anyone who calls me a geek and threaten the lives of their puppies and kittens! or chickens if they actually have them. . . .

So what are you hmm?! Well, if you ever get called one of the words, be sure to question the definition of the word. . . O_o